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Monday, March 29, 2010@ 12:22 PM

My parents got me a $50 gift card to Kobe Steakhouse for my birthday, so Shane & I went there for dinner last night.  It’s always been one of my favorites and I’ve gone there for years and years and years.  Usually it’s my birthday place ($15 off on your birthday)

Our chef had only been working there for a week, but he was amazing!  He wasn’t all that great throwing the knives and what-not around, but the food was seriously cooked better than any other time I’ve been.  I had steak & chicken, and Shane —–  get this —— Shane had steak, chicken, shrimp, and scallops.  I’ve officially named that the “Super Sumo” meal.

My main story comes not from the food or the chef, but from our fellow diners.  The second this foursome sat down, I looked at Shane and said, “These people are irritating.”

It appeared to be a mother, two sons, and the son’s wife.  The mother and the wife spoke zero English, so the son #1 had to order for everyone.  Mom and Son #2 on one check, Son #1 and his wife on a different check.  Son #1 wanted drinks but they were to go on Son #2′s bill.  Just a big mess.   He ordered for his mom, himself (including a shrimp tempura appetizer) and then said that his wife was just going to share with him.  She advised him they do have a plate-share fee.  He goes, “yeah yeah yeah I already know.  That’s fine.”  So she keeps going around the table taking other people’s orders.  He interrupts her to ask, “What was that plate-share fee?”  “$7″  “Ok”  {At this point I’m thinking that for just a couple extra bucks she could just order her own freaking meal & at least get the leftovers to take home}

They took literally 20 pictures.  You know the type.  Honey lean close and I’m going to extend my arm and try to get us both in the shot.

If you’ve ever been to Kobe before, you know they are very quick.  You place your order and then *wham* there’s your soup.  *kablam* salad.  *whoosh* chef’s at the table.  So the chef had just started to put the veggie’s down when his shrimp tempura appetizer comes.  He looks at the guy and says, “I ordered that as an appetizer.  The food’s here now so I don’t want it anymore.”  That just isn’t the way it works at Kobe.  They don’t hold up the entire table full of strangers because one jackass wants an appetizer.  (Plus some of the appetizers are cooked at the table, so you obviously eat them while the chef is cooking the main course)

He kept calling the waitress over.  Bring me more water.  She wants more plum wine (which they then complained was too ‘bitter’).  He wants more to drink.  At one point, the chef was elbow-deep in cooking shrimp and beef when he starts waving his hand and saying, “Give me more white sauce.”  He ordered his Mom’s with no noodles… when Chef was finished cooking the noodles & serving them to everyone else, the son says ”She decided she wants noodles now”

I could go on an on (and on and on) but I won’t.  I’ll finish with the pinnacle of their rudeness.  We’ve all finished our meals and are waiting for her to return with the checks when…  he starts picking his nose!  And I’m talking all-up-in-there nose picking.  He started with his pointer finger and then switched to his thumb.

I wish I were lying.

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